A 6-Part Virtual Course For Babes Who Want People To LOVE Them.
Before you begin, take some time to congratulate yourself on investing in making yourself more likable.
We hope that doesn’t rub you the wrong way. We’re not saying that you’re not likable right now.
What we’re saying is that people generally prefer to work with people they like, know, and trust.
So, the more that people like you, the more likely they’ll want to work with you, and this can help your business BOOM, no matter what your business may be … Entrepreneur, Church Leader, Sorority Girl, Stay-At-Home-Mom, etc.
Ya wanna know what’s super cool about this?
Although we’re focusing on getting people to like us more, the key here is really to focus on making other people feel better by being around us… so it’s really a win-win situation.
Make it your goal to apply these 6 principles so well that not only do people like you, but they f**king love you!
Happy Learning, Friend!
*This course is inspired by Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People.
Part 1: Give A Sh*t About Others
We’re going to be pretty straight forward with you because we love you, care about you, and want you to be successful.
If you want people to like you, quit trying to get people interested in you, and start showing interest in them.
In general, people aren’t thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves.
Not necessarily. It’s pretty natural for us humans to be thinking about ourselves.
Take yourself for example. What are you thinking about on a daily basis?
Family? Friends? Job? Dogs? Dinner? Church? Workout? Movies?
Because it’s natural for us to be thinking of ourselves, it’s probably going to take some extra effort on your part to get outside of your own head and show interest in others’ interests.
When focusing on others, be sincere, because people can spot a fake and won’t respond to you as favorably if you’re not being real.
If you’re having trouble genuinely showing interest in a pretty unlikable person, try thinking to yourself, “I love (*insert person’s name here*!) over and over and over before your conversation with him or her to get yourself in the proper mindset.
Have you considered how the way you greet someone impacts the way he or he views how interested you are in him or her?
Imagine that someone greets you in a mundane voice and doesn’t greet you by name. The person is slouched over, doesn’t sound excited, and doesn’t even bother to shake your hand, hug you, give you a high give, or bump knucks.
Now, imagine that someone greets you with enthusiasm and calls you by name! The person is smiling and gives you a big hug! (If you’re cool with that. Otherwise, perhaps the person shook your hand. Whatever is appropriate for your relationship.)
Considering the previous two scenarios, which one made you feel more important? Which person would you rather work with?
We definitely would go with the person in the second scenario, and we hope that you think about these scenarios and how making these changes can help make people want to work with you more, too!
How can you increase your interest in others? Specifically, what are you going to start implementing immediately to show that you are interested in others?
Hint: You could go the extra mile for your friends’ birthdays. Instead of just posting on your friends’ social media, you could shoot them a private message or pick up the phone and give them a quick call.
Part 2: Turn That Frown Upside Down
You can be lookin’ like a solid dime piece, but that probably won’t matter if your face is sour.
When you’re interacting with others, what does the expression on your face communicate?
Imagine that someone greets you with a frown. How does that make you feel?
Imagine that someone greets you with a smile? How does that make you feel?
A smile can communicate to others that you’re happy to see them.
Duh, right? But how often do we actually smile when we greet people? We can easily forget when we get so caught up in the stress of our daily lives!
Let’s take dogs for example.
…If you don’t like dogs, Imma need you to just pretend for a second, okay? LOL.
Generally, dogs are super happy to see us. If you have a dog, you may understand just how excited they are to see us when we get home from work.
How do you feel when you’re greeted by a dog who is super happy to see you?
Great, right?! You start smiling, too?!
Imagine how people could feel about seeing you if you greeted them with just as much excitement as a dog greeting its owner who just got home from work!
They’d probably feel pretty damn awesome, right?!
If you’re doing business on the phone, you can smile on your end of the line, and it may be perceived by the person with whom you’re speaking on the other end of the line because it may be reflected in your voice. So, smiling when you’re talking on the phone can help people feel like you’re happy to be talking to them.
If you want people to enjoy meeting you, you need to sincerely enjoy meeting them. (Like mentioned in Part 1, people can spot a fake and usually don’t like it much.)
Just like when talking on the phone, when you’re speaking with someone in person, make a conscious effort to smile. When you start smiling, watch how the other person reacts. In our experience, others generally start warming up and smiling back at you. Smiling when talking with someone in person helps the other people feel like you’re happy to be talking to them.
Challenge 1: The next time you’re on the phone, smile while you’re talking and listen to how your voice changes and how the voice of the person on the other end of the line changes.
Challenge 2: The next time you’re speaking with someone in person, smile and watch how the facial expression(s) of the person with whom you’re speaking change.
Part 3: Say My Name, Say My Name
Okay, so this one’s gonna be short, sweet, and to the point.
Learn people’s names, and call them by their names!
If you’re anything like us, when people say, “Hey (*insert your name here*)!”…you are so much more inclined to listen to what they have to say as opposed to when they say, “Hey, (girl, babe, gorgeous,)!”
…Especially when it’s someone who is contacting us online because the second option makes us feel like we’re receiving a copy+paste spam message, and the first makes us feel like the person actually took time to care about us as a person.
Consider the importance of name recognition in donations. People will donate thousands (sometimes millions) of dollars and are recognized by having their name put on a brick or small name plate…and this is satisfying to them.
Imagine how awesome and important you can make the people in your life feel just by calling them by their name!!
Challenge: Start addressing people by their name
Part 4: You Have Two Ears And One Mouth For A Reason
It may be natural for us to want to talk about ourselves; however, it can be super beneficial for us to focus on listening to other people talk.
Like, really listening.
We can fail to listen because we can be so concerned with what we’re going to say next that we aren’t even actually paying attention to the other person. Has this ever happened to you? It can be so annoying when you can feel the other person trying not to cut your off because they are so concerned with what they have to say and not valuing what you have to say!
So, listen not just to respond but to understand.
To put it bluntly, we often need to shut our mouths unless we’re asking the other person a question about the topic of conversation that he or she is presenting to us. After we ask the question, we need to be quiet again and listen to him or her talk.
It may be helpful to restate what the other person has said so that he or she knows that you are listening and that you understand him or her.
Bottom line: People generally care about themselves. They want to talk about themselves…their experiences, opinions, adventures, dreams, goals, families, books they’ve read, movies they’ve watched, etc. They want to be heard.
So, let them talk, and listen.
Something else that can be helpful for helping make the other person feel understood and important is to compliment him or her for taking time to speak with you. Thank them for taking time out of their busy schedules to chat with you. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them that they were entertaining and/or informative. Restate points of the conversation that they made that you really liked and let them know why.
Keep in mind that some people may not even want you to talk or give advice. They may just want to vent to a listening ear.
As a leader, you can listen and thank your team for coming to you with issues because other people on your team could be struggling with the same issues, and perhaps they may be afraid to tell you. You can praise the person who brought the issue to light because, due to them, now the issue can be resolved, and the team can be strengthened.
Think of a recent conversation that you had with someone.
Were you listening to respond or listening to understand?
What could you have done better to listen to understand?
How could you have helped the other person feel understood?
What are some ways that you could have rephrased what the other person said and repeated it back to him or her?
Part 5: Practice Making This Your Go-To Topic Of Conversation
In general, talk about what is of interest to the other person.
If you know that you have a meeting with someone coming up, learn that person’s interests so that you can ask him or her questions about that topic.
With technology today, it’s probably not too difficult to scope on someone’s social media and pick up on what they like.
If you know nothing about the topic, study. (Google, friend!)
By chatting in terms of the other person’s interests, you make yourself more agreeable to that person, which can make him or her like you more. Remember, people generally like to work with people they like!
If you want someone to do something for you, maybe you need to ask a favor, don’t just jump in asking them to help you. Talk to the other person about themselves first so that they know that you genuinely care about and value them.
If you’re asking a favor of someone, talk to the person about how it can be beneficial to them. We personally feel that this feels a lot less icky when asking favors since we know it’s genuinely good for the other person, too.
Think of an upcoming meeting. This can be a date with a friend, a romantic date, a business meeting, whatever.
Think of the person with whom you will be meeting.
What are this person’s interests? (You may want to peruse their social media for recent updates to use as points of discussion.)
What do you know about the person’s interests? (If you don’t know, start Googling.)
How can you talk to the person about their interests? Specifically, think of ways that you can bring up their interests.
Hint: If you’re clueless, you can just say something like, “Hey! I saw that you just started a new fitness class! Tell me more about it. What’s the class like? What got you into it?”
Part 6: Become Immediately Lovable
Who doesn’t love a compliment?!
We’re not talkin’ fake compliments though, because it can be pretty easy to spot those from a mile away.
We’re talking genuine, sincere compliments.
When you’re looking to compliment someone, think of something about that person that you genuinely admire.
Personally, we don’t believe that this should be done just when we want to get something out of someone because we think that’s a little scummy. We believe that when we are genuinely nice to people, things tend to work out in our favor more often.
Bottom line: Make the other person feel important.
Our homeboy Jesus taught us, simply stated, to treat others how we want to be treated.
…Do you want to feel important?
We surely do!
We think that most people think they’re better than us, at least in some way, and they will probably appreciate it when we recognize that in them.
In what ways are you better than most?
“Oh, no! That’s judgmental! I’m not gonna toot my own horn because that will make people not like me as much!”
This is a safe zone, and nobody is ever going to know except for you unless you tell them.
We’ll go first.
We pride ourselves in our organizational skills. We’re yet to meet another person who can organize large goals into smaller, more manageable goals like we can.
We looooove it when people compliment us on our organization or are happy with something we’ve organized for them, and we like that person even more after they compliment us for it … because it shows that they are appreciating our strength.
What is something that you’re super good at?
How do you feel when people compliment you on it?
How do you feel about the other person after they compliment you on it?
How do you think someone feels about you after you compliment them?